"A skilled military operation cultivates the Tao, yet preserves the Methods. Thus, one can become master of victory and defeat."
- Sun Tzu

A popular notion in self-help and positive psychology is the concept that our feelings about the world is determined by our perspective - that is, how we judge it. This is a concept best expressed by Shakespeare in Hamlet when the titular character tells us: "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." That is to say, if we think, or judge, an event to be bad, then we will feed bad (angry, anxious, etc.) about it.

Thus, we are told, if we want to feel better about a situation, then we need to shift our perspective and view it differently. Cognitive behavioral psychologists call this technique "reframing." It involves taking a step back or away from the situation so that we can view it more objectively or positively. The more objectively or positively we view a situation, then the more objectively or positively we will feel, and thus respond, to the situation.

So how does reframing work? Like trying on new glasses, you try different perspectives to help you view the situation differently. For example, if someone cuts you off on the highway, rather than getting upset, you can frame the situation differently saying: "Maybe this driver is an urgent situation or didn't see me."

Or if you miss your bus, rather than get upset or anxious, you can frame the situation differently by saying: "Oh well, now I can get more reading done as I wait for the next bus to come."

Or if you find out your star-colleague just quit her job, rather than panic for the work you might have to fill in for, you can frame it differently and say, "This gives me an opportunity to step up and improve my skills."  

On the surface, reframing makes sense. And indeed, it is a very effective tool for helping us feel and respond differently to situations that befall us. The problem with reframing, though, is that it doesn't address the real reason why we need to use the technique in the first place - the fact that we become rattled, angry, worried, etc. to the event in the first place.

Why would we get upset when a driver cuts us off? Why would we panic if we miss our bus or a colleague leaves?

The reason why we get emotional in these situations is not because of our thoughts, but because these emotions are natural responses to situations in which we feel a lack of control. As human beings, we have an inherent need to feel a sense of control over our situation - ourselves, our relationships, our future.

This need is tied to our sense of calmness and well-being. When we feel in control of a situation, we feel calm and confident. When we don't, we feel emotional, anxious, upset. As bestselling author Robert Greene writes in The 48 Laws of Power, “The feeling of having no power over people and events is generally unbearable to us – when we feel helpless, we feel miserable.”

No amount of reframing is going to get rid of this need. And no amount of objectivity or positive thinking is going to overcome it. These things may help us feel better about the situation and view it more calmly or positively, but unless we acknowledge and address this underlying need, we will always be at struggle with ourselves to maintain this positive or calm attitude.

So how then do we approach situations that rattle us and gain real calm and composure? Or is the situation hopeless? As you can imagine, Sun Tzu provides a way.

For Sun Tzu, the role of the general is to ensure the nation's security (an). He does this first by examining the Way (Tao). For Sun Tzu, this means understanding the purpose by which the ruler commands and unifies the people. If the purpose is clear and strong, then the Way forward is clear. Any events that occur - whether fortunate or not - will be reflected clearly in light of the Way.

Next, he gathers as much information and intelligence as he can - about the ground, about the weather, about the enemy, about his own army and nation.

Lastly, he takes this information and analyzes it, asking questions: What are we trying to do or achieve? What are all the obstacles we face? Where is the enemy strong or weak? Where are we strong or weak?

Based on his answers to these questions, he develops a response to whatever situation is in front of him.

This whole process is predicated on understanding the Way - that is, understanding how the ruler seeks to lead the people and whether this leadership is strong and clear. Without the Way, the whole analysis becomes useless.

Likewise, this is the approach we need to take in our own lives. When an event occurs, we need to ask ourselves not simply "How can I view this differently?", but rather: "What does this mean in terms of my purpose?" How does it affect my path forward? Then we can better understand our own feelings and determine a response.

If your sense of purpose is clear, then the meaning or impact of the event will be clearer to you. It won't easily shake you, because you'll have greater certainty of where you are on the path.

As a result, you won't need to "reframe" your thinking after the event occurs, because your sense of purpose becomes your primary frame, your Way. It is the perspective by which you view life.

If your sense of purpose is not clear, then it is important to go back to step one and ask: What is my purpose? What am I trying to ultimately do or achieve in life, and why? While reframing may help you in the moment to deal with a difficult situation, no amount of reframing is going to give you the answer to this question.

And it is only by cultivating a deep sense of purpose that you'll be able to find real calm or peace.

Anxiety is unavoidable, especially in our highly competitive, dynamic, and ever-changing world. Just as we feel we've overcome one challenge, a new one arises. Just as we catch up on our work, finish that home project, overcome that obstacle with your child - another problem pops up that needs to be solved.

All of this leads to feeling like nothing in our lives is quite under our control. Like the world is a huge mystery to us. Like we are always pawns in someone else's game, but don't know whose game it is or how even how to play it.

This feeling is the source of the anxiety all of us feel, day to day. It's the reason why we always feel like we are barely able to keep our head above water.

2,500 years ago, Sun Tzu and the warriors of his time also had to deal with constant anxiety. He lived in an extremely chaotic and turbulent period in China, where different states fought for domination in the region by attacking and taking over other states. States that were once powerful would quickly be toppled by another state. You were never quite sure who your allies or enemies were.

Needless to say, this was an anxious period for everyone. It was in this period that Sun Tzu wrote The Art of War. It was written as a tool to help rulers and generals overcome their fears and anxieties of going to war and come out on top. And surprisingly, it is a battle-tested tool that has lasted 2,500 years, guiding military generals, business leaders, politicians, and competitive athletes.

So what does Sun Tzu have to teach about dealing with anxiety? How can we use Sun Tzu's principles to defeat one of our biggest internal enemies and come out on top? The following are four lessons I've taken from The Art of War to help me address anxiety in today's world:

1. Find your high ground. Utilize that practice (walking, exercising, listening to music, etc.) that helps you clear your head and feel calm.
2. Know thy enemy, know thyself. The enemy is not anxiety, which is a natural reaction to uncertain situations. The enemy is our tendency to add on more responsibilities and tasks, big or small, than we can or should handle. This puts us in a state where we can't handle anxiety.
3. Elevate & simplify. Understand your priorities, values, and key things you're responsible for. Try to reduce or eliminate anything that falls outside of these things.
4. Adopt the mindset of the invader. Use your anxious energy to guard against the danger of responsibility creep. Think like an invader: you are in the world to fulfill your purpose, and you won't let anything stop you.

Let's go through each lesson in greater depth.

Lesson 1: Find your high ground
For Sun Tzu, it's important in war to try to occupy a ground that offers you as much visibility as you can get. He calls this the high ground. This puts you in a position where you can see your situation as clearly as possible.

In your own life, the first step to dealing with anxiety is that you need to find your high ground - that mental place that gives you clarity and room to just breathe. This could be done through walking, talking to a friend, journaling, meditating, listening to music, whatever. For me, I find my high ground by walking, talking to myself, or writing down my thoughts.

Doing this alone will not take away your anxiety, but it will help you feel like the world is a little more manageable. It also puts you in a place where you can better analyze and overcome your anxiety.

Lesson 2: Know thy enemy, know thyself
Sun Tzu tells us, "Know the other and know the self, and in one hundred battles, there will be no danger." Overcoming anxiety is a question of knowledge, not willpower or determination. When you know your situation, know who the real enemy is, and know your ability to persevere, then your anxiety will no longer control you.

The truth is, many of us don't know what anxiety really is. Anxiety is not simply a feeling of being overwhelmed by some task or possibility. Neither is it simply a feeling in the back of the head that some unknown event is lurking around the corner. These descriptions are simply how anxiety manifests itself. But something underneath is going on.

Anxiety occurs when you do not feel like you have control over your situation - whether over a relationship, your work, a responsibility, or the direction of your future. In our day to day living, our subconscious minds are constantly calculating what is possible with every decision we make or situation we face. When we are uncertain of a result from our decision-making, or if we feel our direct situation is beyond our control, we feel a little bit of anxiety.

Anxiety itself is very natural and actually serves as a warning signal to your consciousness that not everything is under control - that you should be alert and paying attention to make sure nothing goes wrong. It's kind of like a security alarm that beeps whenever a door or window is open. It beeps more intensely for the certain doors or windows (e.g. the front door) and less intensely for less concerning doors or windows (e.g. the attic window).

The reason why anxiety is a problem is that our lives have become so complicated and we have become responsible for so many things, big and small. You have to be a loving parent, a supportive partner, a caring friend, a hard-working employee, an inspiring leader, a hobbyist, a manager of a household, your own personal accountant, and so on.

Our minds do not have the capacity to keep track of all the things that could go wrong, so it generalizes all these responsibilities together. The more things you are responsible for, big or small, the more anxiety you will feel.

This is the equivalent of the security alarm mentioned above beeping 24-7, because of all the open "doors and windows" (i.e. on-going tasks and responsibilities) you have to manage in your life. The alarm may not be loud, but if it's going on all day, then it will eventually have an effect on you.

This anxiety is low-grade, meaning it lurks in the background. But it can come out more pronounced in specific, uncertain situations. For example, it's normal to be anxious about giving a presentation in front of other people. But a lot of low-grade anxiety will make your anxiety for your upcoming presentation on Monday morning feel even more intense.

In short, anxiety is so powerful and so prevalent because we, in our modern lifestyle, have opened ourselves up to being overcome by it. We've allowed ourselves to take on more and more responsibilities and tasks than our minds can handle effectively. This keeps us divided with ourselves, expending our precious time and energy putting out fires here and there without ever feeling calm and at peace.

As you can see, anxiety is not our real enemy. Anxiety can be very healthy in keeping us alert to potential dangers we face. Anxiety that pertains to a specific situation (e.g. a presentation, a competition) can actually be very helpful because it spurs us to be cautious and thoughtful in our plans.

Our real enemy is not anxiety itself, but our lack of control over our responsibilities and commitments. This lack of control makes us vulnerable to anxiety's effects on us. We've become weakened in our ability to handle uncertainty, because it adds one more fire to the mix.

Understanding this distinction is key to overcoming anxiety on a day-to-day basis.

Lesson 3: Elevate and simplify
Now that understand who our real enemy is - not anxiety, but our lack of skill in managing our responsibilities - we can develop a strategy for overcoming this enemy.

As Sun Tzu tells us, "A skilled military operation cultivates the Way and preserves the Methods." What he means by this is that a skilled general continually communicates the army's purpose and follows the appropriate military principles.

When it comes to anxiety, if our problem is that we are divided and unfocused in the number of commitments we decide to take on, leaving us vulnerable to feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, our strategy will be to reduce our number of commitments. This reduces the number of "doors and windows" that can cause our alarm (anxiety) to sound.

To reduce our number of commitments, we can't simply start cutting things off. Rather, we have to elevate our perspective. We have to think about what is important to us and what falls outside of that. We have to think of our purpose - what Sun Tzu calls the Way.

Understanding our purpose - our values, our priorities, our key responsibilities, our mission - shows us the way to distinguishing what we should commit ourselves to and what we shouldn't. If we feel our sense of purpose is to raise confident and supported children, to be healthy and fit, and to lead your business team to be successful, then any commitment outside of these should be put into question.

Using this perspective, you can start reducing your commitments. Ask yourself:

1. What is my purpose? What are my values, priorities, and key responsibilities?
2. What are all the things I am currently committed to or responsible for?
3. Based on my purpose, which responsibilities and commitments I can  eliminate? Which can I reduce my time doing? Which can I phase out?

In continually eliminating extraneous responsibilities and commitments, you are closing and locking these doors and windows. This makes it easier to deal with the important responsibilities that should be taking up your time and deserve your attention.

Lesson 4: Adopt the mindset of an invader
It is not enough simply to reduce our responsibilities and commitments. We must continually guard ourselves from adding on responsibilities that do not serve our overall purpose.

Doing this involves adopting the mindset of the invader. As Sun Tzu says, "In general, this is the Way of invading: if you enter deep [into enemy territory], you are united. The enemy will not be able to subdue you."

Surrounded by the enemy, your army will be focused, alert, and united.

This is the mindset you need to adopt: the world is constantly conspiring to get you to tend to more and more of its responsibilities and needs. People want your attention. Politicians want your votes and money. Coworkers want your time and effort.

You must constantly be alert to the fact that people want to drive you away from your purpose to fulfill their own needs and agendas. And that you, deep down, want to be helpful and supportive.

You must resist this. You must keep your focus. You must see yourself, with your purpose, as an invader in enemy territory. You have a mission to accomplish, a purpose to fulfill in the world. And you won't let anyone distract you from that.

In adopting this mindset and keeping firm to it, you will be channeling your anxiety towards a higher goal: cultivating your purpose.

Staying focused in this way, not only will you be able to conquer your anxiety, but, as Sun Tzu says, the world will be unable to subdue you.