"On difficult ground, keep going."
- Sun Tzu

In The Art of War, Sun Tzu places a lot of value on always being ready to face or deal with the enemy. Indeed, this emphasis on readiness is so important for Sun Tzu that I consider it one of the core values of the Sun Tzu Way (TSTW). Sun Tzu tells us explicitly, "One who, prepared, awaits the unprepared wins." In other words, readiness is a key factor for achieving victory.

This sounds nice, you may be thinking, but what about emergency situations? What about really difficult situations that catch us off-guard? How would you use​ TSTW to deal with people or events you didn't or couldn't plan for?

In truth, while Sun Tzu does stress the importance of planning and foreknowledge, he also embraces the fact that the unexpected is a feature of every battle. Wars are inherently chaotic. No general, no matter how skilled, can calculate or plan for everything.

Nor does Sun Tzu expect him to. Indeed, readiness is not about predicting what's going to happen. Rather, it's about how well you are able to respond to the ever-changing situation before you. Master your response, and you control the situation.

As such, there are four rules that I have drawn from reading The Art of War to help me in dealing with difficult, unexpected situations. They are

1. Let the river water settle.
2. Find the high ground.
3. Move quickly through the marshes.
4. Use the ground for assistance.

Let's go through each in greater detail.

LET THE RIVER WATER SETTLE
"When it rains and the river water rises, one who wishes to cross must wait for it to settle."
- Sun Tzu

The first rule in dealing with a difficult situation is to let the river water settle - that is, to wait for things to calm before taking action. Sun Tzu, of course, is speaking here of a physical river that an army is looking to cross, but we can use the imagery as a metaphor for our own lives.

The pouring rain refers to a quick and sudden change that makes difficult what we are trying to do. We are trying to cross a particular river - i.e. get a promotion, land a client, get a date with someone we like. But then something happens that complicates this or slows down the opportunity: a recession hits, another person is competing for the same client, the person we wanted to date is still talking with their ex.

Sun Tzu's advice for us is simple: stop trying to cross that river and just wait for it to settle. There are two aspects to this rule. The first echoes another rule that Sun Tzu tells, "Move if there is advantage, stop if there is not." There is nothing to gain by trying to continue on the path. Rather, you have to wait until you can reassess your situation. 

Perhaps the promotion is no longer available, but once things have settled, you'll be in a much better position to understand what opportunities are available. Perhaps the client will not go with your competition, but once things have settled, you'll be in a much better position to understand their wants and needs. Perhaps the person you want to date will not go back to her ex, but once things have settled, you'll have a better idea of where her head is at.

Things will not always end up the way you want. The river you're trying to cross may not be the right river, especially after a storm. Continuing while things are crazy, though, will not make that any clearer to you. Wait for things to settle to determine if you really want to cross.

The second aspect is to let the river water in your mind settle. When an event occurs that disturbs our plans, our minds can often get rattled. Waiting for the rainwater to settle also means letting your mind process what has happened. This is the time to take a step back and assess your emotional state. Ask yourself: How does this make me feel? Am I upset? Am I frustrated? Am I hurt?

Embedded in this rule is the understanding that the river water will settle. As Sun Tzu tells us, "Anger can return to happiness. Resentment can return to contentment." Things may be hard, frustrating, and surprising now - but give it time, and it will settle.

Then you can make your move.

FIND THE HIGH GROUND
​"In general, the winning army prefers the high ground and hates the low, values the sunny side and despises the dark."
- Sun Tzu

For Sun Tzu, the reason why the winning army prefers the high, sunny ground over the low, dark ground is because both height and light provide maximum visibility of your situation. Light allows you to see your situation, height allows you to see far and wide.

The same idea applies to your life. It is easy to get caught up in bad news. Someone is spreading a rumor about you at work, someone gives a bad review of your business on the internet, a high-paying client decides to leave you, your significant other is questioning your future together.

It's easy to respond with hurt, frustration, defensiveness. However, to effectively deal with your situation, you must try to see it from a clear and elevated perspective. This involves viewing your situation from two perspectives - from the perspective of purpose (yi) and from the perspective of compassion (ren).

A question I try to ask myself in these types of situation is: How can I respond in a way that both allows me to move forward in my purpose and shows respect and dignity to myself and the people I'm dealing with?

Perhaps this means confronting your gossiper in a calm and humane way. Perhaps it means responding to the poor review by apologizing and agreeing to certain concessions. Perhaps it means genuinely asking the high-paying client what you could have done differently to retain his patronage. Perhaps it means asking your significant other what future she wants and being honest about what you want in your future.

The idea is not that you will get what you want - a colleague, customer, client, partner who loves you and will always support you. The idea is simply to position yourself so that you are better than before, that you have more understanding than before, and you know how to navigate towards your goals better.

This requires keeping a clear head about where you currently are and where you want to be.

MOVE QUICKLY THROUGH THE MARSHES
"To leave salt marshes, just hurry through - do not stay."
- Sun Tzu

For Sun Tzu, a marsh is a dangerous ground for an army to travel on. A marsh slows down movement and its insects can spread disease. As such, Sun Tzu's advice is to move quickly through marshes and stay far away from them.

In life, the same advice is true. Often times we get ourselves in metaphorical marshes -  sticky or competitive situations where we find ourselves trying to fight through them. We find ourselves in a big argument with someone, or in a long battle with a company's customer service department, or in a pissing competition with a colleague over implementing a new program.

What tends to happen in these situations is that we get bogged down by endless responses, what author Robert Greene calls "tactical hell." This person responds this way, we react and respond another way, and so on. In the end, we find ourselves spending so much time arguing or fighting without anything substantial to show for it.

Sun Tzu's advice is just as applicable for us as it was for the armies of his time: do not get bogged down by these situations. Act quickly to resolve them. Don't get drawn into an argument, and if you do, try to your involvement quickly. Don't get drawn into finding a solution through bureaucratic systems - try to find a quicker way elsewhere to get what you need, or, if possible, let go of trying to find a solution. If you find yourself competing with a colleague, then you've likely already lost. Cede victory and try to find another opportunity where you won't have competition.

Avoid petty battles or battles of ego. These will only suck up your time. Resolve conflicts as quickly as possible so you can get past them.

USE THE GROUND FOR ASSISTANCE
"This is the army's advantage - the assistance of the ground."
- Sun Tzu

For Sun Tzu, a winning army establishes readiness not by having the best supplies or equipment, but by understanding how to use the ground and its resources to its advantage. In difficult situations, it relies on what is available to it, not on resources it wished it had.

This is the same mindset you must adapt. Using the ground for assistance means using what is available to you to resolve the problems you face. Often in the face of difficult situations, we tend to focus on what we don't have - money, time, energy, know-how. Rarely do we take a break and think about what we do have available to us - patience, understanding, friends, the Internet, etc.

You must strive to be resourceful. Ask yourself: what resources or advantages do I have available to me? How could I use them to help deal with my problem?

You may not have the resources to completely solve your problem, but you can always make your situation better. And often times that is enough to get you through whatever difficulty you are facing.
~
In short, following these four rules will not necessarily give you the exact result that you were hoping for. You may not be able to get that promotion, client, job, date, relationship. But these rules will guide you in understanding how to reframe and benefit from your situation so that you can ultimately be in a better position than before.

And for Sun Tzu, knowing how to do that is the key to making yourself ready for anything that comes your way.

The following is a great story about Sam Zemurray, the American businessman who made a fortune in the banana trade, that details Zemurray's adept use of Sun Tzu's principles. This passage is from Ryan Holiday's bestselling book The Obstacle is the Way.

"In 1915, deep in the jungles of South America, the rising conflict between two rival American fruit companies came to a head. Each desperately wanted to acquire the same five thousand acres of valuable land.

The issue? Two different locals claimed to own the deed to the plantation. In the no-man’s-land between Honduras and Guatemala, neither company was able to tell who was the rightful owner so they could buy it from them.

How they each responded to this problem was defined by their company’s organization and ethos. One company was big and powerful, the other crafty and cunning. The first, one of the most powerful corporations in the United States: United Fruit. The second, a small upstart owned by Samuel Zemurray.

To solve the problem, United Fruit dispatched a team of high-powered lawyers. They set out in search of every file and scrap of paper in the country, ready to pay whatever it cost to win. Money, time, and resources were no object.

Zemurray, the tiny, uneducated competitor, was outmatched, right? He couldn’t play their game. So he didn’t. Flexible, fluid, and defiant, he just met separately with both of the supposed owners and bought the land from each of them. He paid twice, sure, but it was over. The land was his."
- Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle is the Way, p. 98

ANALYSIS
For Sun Tzu, the critical element in warfare is time. The longer you are doing battle, the more resources you will likely use up, including the momentum (shih) you need to overwhelm the enemy in battle. The quicker you are able to resolve a conflict, then, the more you are able to keep your resources and gains intact (quan).

Sam Zemurray's handling of the battle with United Fruit over the five thousand acre plantation, though simple, displays a keen understanding of this concept. While United Fruit was willing to spend a lot of time, money, and energy to resolve the issue, Zemurray understood that time and money was not on his side. Being much smaller than the giant corporation, he knew he had to act quickly to get this conflict resolved so that he could move forward and expand his business.

His solution displays precisely the five main qualities of a winning strategy (profitable, protected, easy, quick, and surprising), allowing him to achieve total victory (quan sheng) in this situation. Let's look at how:

1. Profitable. The upside to the strategy was obtaining the 5,000 acre land in dispute and build his banana trade business.
2. Protected. In buying from both locals, there was no case for disputing who owned the land. Thus, there was no real risk of losing the land through legal dispute.
3. Easy & quick. The strategy of paying both locals was fairly easy and quick to execute. It certainly didn't require hiring a team of lawyers to search for any piece of paper to resolve whose land it was.
4. Surprising. United Fruit certainly had the money to pay both men. But as a huge corporation for whom money and time were no object, they never thought of the possibility of paying two locals who claimed ownership. The solution, which would have been easier and quicker to execute for them than Zemurray, went right under their nose.

As a result of this strategy, Zemurray was able to gain the land and continue building his own successful banana business (Cuyamel Fruit Company). 

In trying to understand the Sun Tzu Way (TSTW), I like to use the metaphor of a path or journey. This is in keeping with the Chinese word for "the Way" (Tao), which translates to mean "road," "direction," or "path." TSTW is not simply a bunch of tools or techniques for solving the challenges you may face, but a continuous process of cultivating a sense of security, peace, and fulfillment (an) throughout one's life.

This process can be understood in three distinct phases, with each phase carrying the one before it, reiterating itself in a continuous cycle. These phases, each starting with the letter P, are

1. Purpose (yì). Understand what you are trying to do or achieve and why.​
2. Preparation (yú). Understand the dangers of pursuing your purpose.
3. Progress (jìn). Understand how to advance intact on the path.

Let's look at each phase in greater depth.

PURPOSE
"The Tao is commanding the people according to a higher, shared purpose. They can be given death or life, but they will not fear danger or betrayal."
- Sun Tzu

For Sun Tzu, war is the path (Tao) of survival or destruction for a nation. A nation can only really survive war if its people are united and in harmony with the intentions of the ruler. This is what allows soldiers to act with courage and trust, not fearing death.

To unite the people requires the ruler to develop and communicate a clear sense of purpose (what Sun Tzu calls yì) to the people - a compelling vision for the future. This purpose or vision is not simply about economic prosperity. Nor is it about developing a feeling of patriotism or nationalism.

Rather, this purpose is spiritual in nature, guiding people in developing an elevated and deep understanding of their place in the universe. Thus, for Sun Tzu, the ruler is not simply an administrator, but a spiritual guide.

As such, the first phase of following TSTW is developing a clear understanding of your purpose - what you want or were meant to do or achieve in life and why.

This is something you must think deeply about for your life. Cultivating peace and fulfillment in your life will be difficult, if not impossible, unless you have a clear sense of the direction (Tao) you want to go in life. You must ask yourself: What am I here to do? What am I trying to accomplish? What change am I trying to make? What do I want for myself and others? Why do I want this?

The clearer you are about this higher purpose, the clearer you understanding will be of how to manage the day-to-day situations, allowing you to better decisions that align with your overall sense of purpose.

PREPARATION
"Therefore, one who does not fully know the dangers of using the army cannot fully know the advantages of using the army."
- Sun Tzu

For Sun Tzu, developing and communicating a higher sense of purpose is only the first step. It may help establish harmony between the people and the ruler, allowing the ruler to command the people as a unified force against a powerful enemy, but that in itself is not enough.

War, by its very nature, is an economic affair. It sucks up valuable resources, including soldiers, weapons, time, money. The longer a war goes on, the more people will suffer and the weaker morale becomes.

For Sun Tzu, it is the general's responsibility to understand and evaluate the dangers of going to war and to prepare the army against these dangers. This responsibility is reflected in Sun Tzu's word for preparation, yú, which means "to worry" or "to anticipate." The role of the general is to worry about the dangers, to contemplate them, and to ready the army to deal with them.

This involves understanding the strengths and weaknesses of the army as well as the enemy and planning how the army will get the resources and capabilities it needs to defeat the enemy.

Similarly, the second phase of following TSTW - preparation - involves understanding the dangers involved in pursuing your purpose (yì). As I've written before, a core tenet of TSTW is that life is war. In a universe governed by chaos and competition, the universe will not simply stand aside so that you can achieve your life's purpose. It will provide obstacles to your path.

Your role, as general of your life, is to understand and evaluate these obstacles and prepare yourself in dealing with them. You must understand what your strengths and weaknesses are. You must understand what difficulties will likely arise if you take action to pursue your purpose. And you must develop a strategy that allows you to navigate these obstacles so that you can advance forward.

Ask yourself: What are the risks involved? What skills, resources, capabilities do I need to be successful? What do I need to know?

It is only by taking these precautions that you can take your sense of security (an) into your own hands, allowing you to cultivate it as long as you are on the path.

PROGRESS
"Therefore, [the army] is as swift as the wind; as gentle as a forest; as invasive and plundering as fire; as unshakeable as a mountain; as difficult to see as the shade; as stirring as a thunderclap."
- Sun Tzu

For Sun Tzu, preparation is what keeps the army protected, allowing it to conserve resources and build up a strong defensive position against the enemy. However, preparation is not enough to achieve a skillful victory over the enemy. To do that, the army must accumulate an overwhelming set of advantages that tip the balance of power in its favor. This set of advantages gives the army momentum (what Sun Tzu calls shih), which it can use to surprise and overwhelm the enemy.

For Sun Tzu, there are many ways the general can accumulate advantages over the enemy. These include building alliances with neighboring rulers; plundering the enemy's fields for food; capturing the enemy's soldiers, weapons, and equipment; taking control of territory the enemy has ignored; converting the enemy's soldiers, officers, officials, and even spies into his own spies; and luring the enemy with false baits (for example, misinformation) that take the enemy off his original course.

Using these advantages, the general effectively weakens the enemy's position, creating multiple avenues for attack. As a result, the winning army has such an overwhelming advantage that it is as if the enemy is already defeated. As Sun Tzu famously tell us, "the winning army first wins, and later seeks to do battle. The defeated army first battles, and later seeks to win."

Thus, for the third and final phase of following TSTW, our focus is on progress. Continual, unrelenting progress. Sun Tzu's term for progress is jìn, which means "to advance" or "to move forward." By continually accumulating advantages and eliminating obstacles in one's way, one continually moves forward on the path.

No advantage is too small. Every new connection you make, every relationship you strengthen, every client you acquire, every skill you develop - these all help you move forward in your path. Therefore, the quicker you can accumulate these advantages, the more momentum (shih) you can build, and the greater your chances of success. For this reason, speed (su) is an important factor - both for Sun Tzu's winning army and for you.

As a result, you want to continually ask yourself: What little advantages can I gain for myself right now? What opportunities can I jump on to help my situation? What obstacles can I remove from my path right away? What can I do immediately or in the near future to improve my situation? What can I be doing on a regular basis to gradually move forward?

The most important thing to remember is that progress is essentially about control, what Sun Tzu calls zhì. This refers to the ability to create positive outcomes and/or prevent negative ones.

What you are after is a greater sense of control in your situation. The more positive outcomes you can create in your life - e.g. wealth, love, health, joy - and the more negative outcomes you can prevent - e.g. poverty, resentment, anxiety, sickness, frailty, etc. - the calmer, more peaceful, more serene your life will be.

In other words, if you are not able to generate more positive outcomes in your life or prevent negative ones, then you are not progressing. So ask yourself: What am I able to do now that I wasn't before? Am I in a better position than I was before? Do I feel more in control of my situation?
~
In short, the three phases here describe the path of the Sun Tzu Way. Living a life of an - of peace, serenity, calm, security - is essentially a result of clear purpose, obsessive preparation, and an unrelenting focus on increasing one's sense of control.

Walking this path may not be easy, but with a 2,500 year old battle-tested philosophy to guide you, you cannot go wrong.  

A core principle is an essential condition that leads to a certain result. It can be used to guide or inform one's decisions and actions.

Having studied The Art of War for over twenty years, I have found that there are three critical principles that serve as the foundation for the Sun Tzu Way. These principles are the same that guide and protect the skilled warriors of the past in achieving total victory (quan sheng), and that can guide you in your own endeavors.

These principles are

1. Cohesion (hé). Communicate a clear direction (Tao) forward. Ensure everything you do supports and aligns with it.
2. Concealment (cáng). Keep your situation - your intentions, abilities, opportunities, and weaknesses - hidden.
3. Control (zhì). Use what you have available to you to build the momentum and influence you need to become master of your situation.

These three principles, though presented separately, are actually inseparable, working with and reinforcing each other.

Let's look at each in depth.

COHESION
"One whose upper and lower ranks share the same sense of purpose will win."
- Sun Tzu

For Sun Tzu, the winning army is one that has a strong sense of unity, acting with one mind, regardless of status or rank. Each member of the army, from the general all the way down to the lowest-ranking soldier, must share a common understanding of what they are trying to do or achieve and why.

For Sun Tzu, war is inherently chaotic and dangerous. Without a strong sense of purpose that binds everyone together, there will be no unified force to resist an invading enemy and ultimately keep the nation. Thus, an army that is united in purpose and whose activities are coordinated to serve this purpose is the first condition for achieving continual success. This fact is what I call the principle of cohesion (hé).

In life, the concept of the same. As humans, we all struggle with acting with one mind. We all have dreams, but are too lazy or scared or disappointed to pursue them. We all want to improve our health or relationships or finances, but feel - either due to our habits or past trauma or upbringing or intimidation - that we are incapable of really changing ourselves or our situation. In other words, we are divided within ourselves.

True change can only occur by overcoming this division and uniting the different parts of ourselves under a singular purpose so that they can cohere and work together.

Applying the principle of cohesion to your own life requires cultivating a clear sense of purpose (yi) - a clear understanding of what you are ultimately trying to do or achieve in life and why. With this understanding, you can then look at the different aspects of your life. You can ask yourself: What is serving my purpose? What aligns with it? What is holding me back from acting with one mind?

Of course, cohesion is just the first step. But it is the most important one since without it, success is impossible.

CONCEALMENT
"Those skilled in defense conceal themselves in the nine grounds below."
- Sun Tzu

For Sun Tzu, the best victory comes from the army occupying a strongly guarded position from which it can strike, and subsequently defeat, an enemy who is unaware or unprepared. As he writes, "the skilled warrior stands on undefeated ground, and does not miss the enemy's defeat."

Achieving this kind of victory requires hiding (cáng) one's positioning from the enemy. As such the principle of concealment is a critical principle in The Art of War.

The skillful general knows how to prevent his enemies from having an accurate or clear understanding of his army's situation and abilities. If the army is far from the enemy, he tries to make his army look near. If the army is big, he tries to make his army look small. He obsesses over covering over his army's situation, spreading misinformation to the enemy and always looking out for the enemy's spies.

Doing this allows the army to occupy positions without the enemy being aware, thereby allowing the army to be both protected and ready to attack an unsuspecting enemy. Thus, the principle of concealment is critical in allowing the general set up his army for victory.

In your own life, you may think you do not need to use concealment or deception to achieve success. You are not an army in Ancient China. Truth is, the principle of concealment is as necessary for you as it is a general in Sun Tzu's time.

The world is marked by competition. And not just competition in terms of jobs or business or funding - but in terms of attention. Everything and everyone - from the shows we watch to our friends to our kids to our spouse to videos to books to colleagues, and so on - is competing for our attention, our focus, our affection, our acceptance, our interest.

This has two important consequences for us. First, if we reveal our goals or intentions to do something, someone or something will provide resistance. This is because our intention to do something means we are putting our focus, our attention towards it. And because the people and media around us is constantly clamoring for that very focus, it will try to divert it. Friends, family, partners, or media may tell us that we shouldn't go that route; it's too risky. Or that we should go a different route - to do what other successful people have done.

The biggest point of resistance will likely be ourselves. Our tendencies towards self-doubt or laziness will creep in. At first we may be excited, and then as time goes on, when things get hard or boring, we'll fall off.

The second consequence is that in trying to influence others and achieve big things, we too must compete. And in a world of where so many things are competing for their time and attention, people are resistant to give you attention or focus, especially if they know what you are up to.

Thus, the principle of concealment has two benefits. First, it protects you from the opposition you may receive from others or even yourself in trying to achieve something. Second, it helps avoid the resistance you may get from trying to engage with and influence someone else.

In implementing the principle of concealment in your life, use the following rules to help guide you:

1. Resist the urge to reveal your goals or intentions. Want to change careers? Want to start exercising? Want to start a business or blog? Resist the urge tell any and everyone. People will just divert or distract you with their opinions. Just start and try to get some momentum going. Do your research on the career, do a few minutes of exercise a day, try to get your first client, create a website and publish some posts. See for yourself what it would be like.
2. Resist the urge to persuade or sell. The moment people think you are trying to convince or persuade them to believe or do something, they will get resistant. A wall will go up that will be very difficult to bring down. Never signal you are trying to change someone's mind. The only thing you can do is provide an open and engaging space where people can change their own minds. Start a conversation, listen to people's concerns, understand what they ultimately want, give them different options, and let them decide what to do next.
3. Learn to communicate through actions and results, not words. Which do you think is more effective at making your partner feel loved and appreciated - telling your partner how much you love and appreciate them, or getting them a special gift, sitting down and listening to them as they tell you about their day, complimenting them? Or which do you think is more effective at showing people you are serious about exercising - telling people that you are going to start working out, or showing people how much weight you've lost or the muscles you've developed? Actions and results are infinitely more effective than words, since they communicate facts, not good intentions or opinions.
4. Strive to make appear natural that which takes effort. The essence of concealment is making that which actually took planning and effort look as if it were simple and natural. Everything you say and do should appear as if it comes from your own natural talents and personality, and not from calculated preparation. People are fooled by appearances because they want to be. Having to question everyone's intentions is too big of a burden on people's consciousness. Thus, you have to be skilled at knowing the right actions to take to give the impression that you are naturally someone who takes those actions. Understand who you wish to be and then do what someone like that would do.

CONTROL
"Therefore, the winning army is like using yi to weigh against zhu. A defeated army is like using zhu to weigh against yi."
- Sun Tzu

In this quote, the terms yi and zhu here refer to measurements of weight. Yi outweighs zhu probably by a factor of hundred or so. For Sun Tzu, a winning army is not simply one that defeats its enemy, but one that has attained an overwhelming number of advantages over the enemy. As such, its victory is secure.

Securing victory is not a matter of having the strongest or sharpest or bravest soldiers. Rather, securing victory is a matter of controlling (zhì) the ground. This is known as the principle of control.

For Sun Tzu, the ground is not simply a physical place, but the army's situation in relation to the enemy. It is the context of the engagement and the set of options available to each.

The army who has control over the ground thereby controls the advantages and options that the ground offers. Thus, for Sun Tzu, the winning army is constantly maneuvering itself into a position of control (zhì quán) before it engages the enemy. The skillful general never focuses on how to destroy or defeat the enemy in battle. Rather, he always has his mind on how to establish a position of control on the battlefield so that the army's victory is not in danger.

As such, he is always calculating the advantages and disadvantages of every move. He mobilizes his troops only when there is an advantage and fights only if there is danger. And he strikes only when and where the enemy is unprepared. He avoids direct confrontation when he can and keeps his army mainly in wait until an opportunity to attack or move presents itself.

In moving only to gain advantages and fighting only when necessary, he slowly builds up a position of control that allows him to secure his victory over the enemy.

In your own life, this same principle holds true. Success in life depends on your ability to increase your sense of control over your situation. What you must strive for is not achieving a benchmark or big achievement, but to secure a position of control within your environment. This ultimately is what will allow you to feel a sense of an - peace, calmness, security - in your life.

In utilizing the principle of control in your own life, use the following rules to guide you:

1. Start with yourself. Controlling your situation means first controlling yourself. Self-control means the ability to be patient and to stop and think about your options before taking action. Before reacting to some event - someone cuts you off, your boss passes you up for a promotion, your kids disobey an order you gave, your spouse complains about something you've done - just take a deep breath. Think about what would happen if you act in the way you want, as opposed to not acting. Consider your options. The greater you're able to control yourself, the better your ability to control the situation. 
2. Avoid ego conflicts. Most events that seem like conflicts - someone cutting you off, your boss passing you up for promotion, your spouse criticizing you, etc. - are really just jabs at our ego. It is very easy to feel attacked in these circumstances. But really the problem is that we are taking these events personally because these things make us feel undervalued. The best way of dealing with ego conflicts is not to take them personally. Someone cuts you off? Let it go. As long as you were not in danger, there is no need to hold on to it. Your boss passed you up for a promotion? Take it as an opportunity to think about your next step - whether it's building your skills, looking for another job, and establishing a stronger relationship with your boss. Your spouse is complaining about something you did or forgot to do? Listen to them! Determine if they may have a point and how to resolve the conflict. Whatever you decide to do, do not take an ego conflict as opportunity to argue or fight. It is not. Rather, it is always an opportunity to learn how someone views you or their relationship with you. View it as valuable information, not an attack.
3. Sharpen your tools. If you understand your purpose (see Cohesion), then you can understand the knowledge, skills, and capabilities you need to achieve it. Sharpen these tools. Build your knowledge, develop your skills, grow your capabilities. If you want to be a good parent, keep reading up and utilizing parenting techniques.  If you want to be a good partner, keep watching those videos on marriage advice. 
4. Find the way forward. Every situation provides you with options. Many of these situations will not provide you with the options you hoped for. Your goal, regardless, is not to get the option you wished for, but to choose the option that allows you to move your purpose forward. With example of your boss passing you up for promotion, you may have a few options available. Perhaps you can have an honest conversation with your boss about why you were passed up and what you can do to prove your worth. Or maybe you can see if there are other opportunities within your company that you can try to capitalize on. Or maybe you can reassess whether moving up in the company you are in is really what you want to do. The best option is the one that aligns with your overall goals. What are you trying to do or achieve, and why? Go with the option that best supports this.
5. Use and build off what is available to you. Just like every situation has options, every situation allows you to use resources, advantages, or opportunities that are available to you. These resources, advantages, and opportunities will not be what you hoped for, but regardless, you must use what you have to move forward and build off it. For example, you may not have the budget you wanted for a project at work, but perhaps you have a team of people with diverse skills to help you. You may not have gotten the promotion you wanted, but perhaps you were able to impress your manager's boss with your achievements over the past year - this may be an important relationship to cultivate. Always look for any upside in your situation and capitalize on it.

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These three principles make up the foundation of the Sun Tzu Way. It is by following them consistently, committing yourself to them, that you will secure success in your life and cultivate a deep sense of an, or peace, in your life.

In a previous post, I wrote about why Sun Tzu advised against ever acting out of anger. Anger, by its nature, is a destructive emotion. People who are angry are driven to put down, insult, ridicule, or otherwise hurt someone else. The Sun Tzu Way is not based on destruction, but on growth and security. It's aim is to find the best solution for all parties, not just yourself (what Sun Tzu calls quan, or wholeness, a core value of the Sun Tzu Way).

Even more, behind every angry reaction is a sense of disbelief. That is to say, anger signals one's inability to accept reality. For Sun Tzu, this is dangerous, as a general needs to keep a cool head in order to understand his situation clearly.

This sounds nice, of course, but you may wondering: what happens when I do get angry? How do I deal with anger in a way that is productive and doesn't get me in trouble?

My immediate suggestion would be to take a deep breath so you can calm your brain down enough to think. After that, there are two simple questions I suggest you ask yourself before taking any immediate action. These questions are

1. What would I gain from acting right now out of anger? What would I gain from cursing that person out, yelling at someone, getting defensive, throwing a tantrum, etc.? How would I benefit from doing this?
2. What could I lose from acting out of anger? What might be the consequences? What cost would it have on my reputation, my relationship, or even my own sense of self-worth?

Asking these two simple questions shifts your focus away from the destructive, vengeful path and towards thinking in terms of cost-benefit. For Sun Tzu, the main objective in war is not to destroy the enemy, but to end up in a better, stronger, more secure position than before.

Likewise, in life, every action bears a cost. An angry-driven mindset is not thinking about how to make your situation better. Rather, it is driven to think about how to hurt something or someone.

Asking these questions may not get rid of your anger (for that, I suggest following my "letting flow" technique), but it will allow you to reframe your thinking so that you are acting strategically.